Finders Keep Her
I had been drunk the night
before and I lost my phone.
in it, were a bunch of photos
of her in compromising positions;
there was no passcode to open
the phone, and some of the photos
showed her face, ass, tits and stomach
covered in my come. I wasn’t going
to tell her at first, as my concern was
that she’d be devastated knowing a
stranger out there had found the phone
and the photos within; but I decided to
tell her the truth, and to my surprise she
said: ‘oh, I don’t care, it’s not like they’ll
know it’s me or who I am.’ I laughed, and
agreed, as her point was valid, and later I
got a new phone, and we took more photos;
but I don’t know what happened to those.
before and I lost my phone.
in it, were a bunch of photos
of her in compromising positions;
there was no passcode to open
the phone, and some of the photos
showed her face, ass, tits and stomach
covered in my come. I wasn’t going
to tell her at first, as my concern was
that she’d be devastated knowing a
stranger out there had found the phone
and the photos within; but I decided to
tell her the truth, and to my surprise she
said: ‘oh, I don’t care, it’s not like they’ll
know it’s me or who I am.’ I laughed, and
agreed, as her point was valid, and later I
got a new phone, and we took more photos;
but I don’t know what happened to those.
I Modi (The Fashion) [fragments] -- Marcantonio Raimondi
The 4 Stanze di Raffaello (Raphael Rooms) form a suite of reception rooms in the the public part of the papal apartments in the Palatium Apostolicum. In 1508 or 1509 pope Iulius II commissioned Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino ("Rafael") to redecorate the existing interiors of the rooms so as to outshine the apartments of his Borgia predecessor (and rival) Alexander VI, which were immediately below his own, but only 2 of the rooms were frescoed by the time of his death in 1513. Bernardo Dovizi (whose "La Calandra," performed at the court of Urbino in 1507, was the 1st comedy of note written in Italian prose) was influential in getting Giovanni dei Medici elected pope Leon X, and Leo continued Iulius' renovation program and also made Raffaello papal architect in 1514. In 1516 Dovizi, now cardinal of Bibbiena, hired Raffaello, whom he had known since his boyhood, to decorate a bathroom in the Vatican with naked nymphs bathing while anatomically correct satyrs spied on them.
ReplyDelete(Some art historians believe that Dovizi commissioned the "Modi" to depict 16 famous Roman prostitutes.) Leo planned to make the painter a cardinal but in 1520 Raffaelo died of a fever caused by a night of sexual excess with his young mistress before the pope could bring these plans to fruition, so his assistants, who had probably helped with Dovizi's bathroom, continued the work, led by Giulio Pippi ("Giulio Romano"), immortalized by William Shakespeare in "A Winter’s Tale" as “that rare Italian master, Julio Romano" who sculpted queen Hermione's statue. Leo also hired Romano to complete Raffaelo's design of the Villa Madama on Monte Mario, a few miles west of Roma, the country home of his cousin Giulio de' Medici (the future Clemens VII). Romano's team was one of the most brilliant teams ever assembled on a site, but without Raffaelo to intervene in disputes, they quarreled incessantly. After Clemens became pope in 1523, work on his villa resumed in 1524-1525 but was never completed. Angry about a tardy payment by the pope, Romano retaliated by drawing the 16 infamous postures on the walls of the Sala di Costantino, the largest of the reception rooms.
Marcantonio Raimondi had become part of Raffaelo's circle around 1510 and they founded a successful printing establishment that quickly expanded into an engraving school with Marcantonio at the head, and Marcantonio continued making engravings of the painter's works even after his death; he became the 1st important printmaker whose body of work consisted largely of copied paintings. He circulated "Il Modi" around Roma, causing Clemens to jail him, but Marcantonio's friends arranged for his release. These included Pietro Aretino, who, with Raffaelo and others, had been patronized by Iulius' treasurer, Roma's richest banker, Agostino Chigi. When Leo's pet elephant died in 1516 Aretino had penned a satirical pamphlet, "The Last Will and Testament of the Elephant Hanno," which established his reputaion as "flagello dei principi" (the Scourge of Princes, as Ludovico Ariosto called him). After Leo's death in 1521 he had worked for Giulio de' Medici against his rivals for the papacy, but Hadrianus VI was chosen as a compromise candidate instead and Aretino left Roma during his brief reign. In a letter to Clemens in 1524 he enclosed a satirical poem saying that he had "fallen in love with a female cook and temporarily switched from boys to girls." After obtaining Raimondi's release he "desired to see those pictures which has caused the [Vatican] to cry out that their creators should be crucified” and then composed a sonnet for each of the 16 pictures (the "Sonetti Lussuriosi"). Bishop Gian Matteo Giberti, who had long been in the service of the 2 Medici popes, tried to have Aretino assassinated in 1525, forcing him to flee. In 1527 the poems and pictures were published with an introduction by Aretino in which he invited readers to “Come view this you who like to fuck, without being disturbed in that sweet enterprise.” Despite its enormous popularity, church authorities vigorously destroyed all the copies they could obtain. Only a 9 fragments in the British Museum, carefully cropped to remove the genitalia, remain; printed from copper plates and mounted on a sheet, they were perhaps generated from a replacement set by Raimondi's associate Agostino Veneziano. When emperor Charles V sacked Roma in 1527, most of Agostino's plates escaped being melted down by the imperial troops, and they continued to be printed. Aretino settled in Venice and supported himself by blackmailing homosexuals who had sought his guidance in vice and by selling his satirical services to both Charles V and Francis I for use against each other. In 1556 he died "from laughing too much."
ReplyDeleteRomano left Roma in 1524 and moved to Mantova to work for Federico II Gonzaga to build his Palazzo del Te. In 1526 he began adapting his Modi for erotic scenes from Lucius Apuleius Madaurensis' 2nd-century novel "Asinus Aureus" (The Golden ass) in the palazzo's Sala di Psyche. Aretino visited Romano in 1526, and they collaborated on "I Modi." Aretino's introduction continued, "With all respect to hypocrites, I dedicate these lustful pieces to you, heedless of the scurvy strictures and asinine laws which forbid the eyes to see the very things that delight them most.” In a letter to Battista Zatti, he asksed, "What harm is there in seeing a man mounting a woman? Should beasts be [more] free than we are? We should wear that thing nature gave us for the preservation of the species on a chain around our necks or as a medal on our hats; for that is the fountain rivers of human beings come forth from and the ambrosia the world drinks on feast-days. That thing made you, who are one of the greatest living surgeons. It created me, and I am better than bread. It produced the Bembos ... the Titians, and the Michelangelos, and after them the Popes, emperors, and kings." As far as he was concerned, the penis is less offensive than the hands, which “wager money, swear falsely, lend usuriously, make obscene gestures, tear, pull, punch, wound, and kill”, or the mouth, which “blasphemes, spits in the face, gorges, swills, and vomits.”
ReplyDeleteRomano's only contemporary biographer, Georgio Vasari, complained that “for each plate master Pietro Aretino composed a most indecent sonnet, such that I do not know what was more offensive, the spectacle of Giulio’s drawings to the eye or the words of Aretino to the ear," and Ariosto called the pictures "beautiful rather than decent."
John Donne, in his 1597 "Satire IV," referred to the Spartan practice of making slaves intoxicated to deter young men from acquiring the habit of excessive drinking, writing that their "fashion ... doth not taste / Now; Aretine’s pictures have made few chaste; / No more can princes’ Courts, though there be few / Better pictures of vice, teach me virtue."
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