Peace
Peace is the saving grace for a man
of essence
Who tries his best to bring out from the worst
Amidst many a hurst?
Peace is the output of the inner urges
One feels at heart and soul for the heavenly abode
Who tries his best to bring out from the worst
Amidst many a hurst?
Peace is the output of the inner urges
One feels at heart and soul for the heavenly abode
Amidst many a solitude.
Peace is the trophy wife of a man of grey life
Who dreams for a moon for labor of love
Amidst many an amative?
Peace is an erogenous zone for a man who's sane
Who enjoys the vines of the valentine
Amidst many a heart of stone?
Peace is the house of sale
For the vicious circle of Agony Uncle.
Peace is the trophy wife of a man of grey life
Who dreams for a moon for labor of love
Amidst many an amative?
Peace is an erogenous zone for a man who's sane
Who enjoys the vines of the valentine
Amidst many a heart of stone?
Peace is the house of sale
For the vicious circle of Agony Uncle.
Lascaux cave painting, ca. 17,000 BCE
An agony uncle is a man who dispenses advice to an anonymous reader in a magazine or newspaper or on a broadcast news medium or the internet. (In the US the person is called an advice columnist.) Bookseller John Dunton created the format in 1691 for his twice-weekly "Athenian Gazette [soon renamed "The Athenian Mercury"], when he created an anonymous "society of experts" called the Athenian Society (Dutton, his brother-in-law Samuel Wesley [the father of the Methodist founders], his co-editor Richard Sault, and Dr. John Norris, a frequent critic of John Locke's ideas). Dunton took the name from St. Paul's comment in Acts 17:21, "For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else, but either to tell, or to hear some new thing." The magazine declared that "All Persons whatever may be resolved gratis in any Question that their own satisfaction or curiosity shall prompt 'em to, if they send their Questions by a Penny Post letter to Mr. Smith at his Coffee-house in Stocks Market in the Poultry, where orders are given for the reception of such Letters, and care shall be taken for their Resolution by the next Weekly Paper after their sending," but the questions were often created by the Society members themselves. Jonathan Swift published his 1st poem, "Ode to The Athenian Society," in its 5th issue, causing John Dryden to predict, "Cousin Swift, you will never be a poet." Within a few months Dutton decided to devote the 1st Tuesday of the month to answering "reasonable questions sent to us by the fair sex," which led to the weekly "Ladies' Mercury" in 1693, the 1st periodical specifically designed for a female audience. The format was quickly copied by others, including Daniel Defoe, and became a newspaper staple for centuries. Sherlock Holmes regularly consulted the "agony columns" (which were what we would call personal classified ads); in "His Last Bow. The War Service of Sherlock Holmes" (1917) Arthur Conan Doyle reported that he "took down the great book in which, day by day, he filed the agony columns of the various London journals." In 1933 Nathaniel West published "Miss Lonelyhearts," a novel about an unnamed agony uncle who was shot after conducting an affair with one of his readers, Mrs. Doyle.
ReplyDeleteThe most popular modern advice columns have been written by women (or others, sometimes teams of writers, using women's names; in the UK these would be known as agony aunts). In 1955 Esther Pauline Friedman took over the advice column created in 1943 by "Ann Landers" (Ruth Crowley), which lasted until her death in 2002 (her daughter Margo Howard later wrote the "Dear Prudence" and "Dear Margo" columns); a few months later, in 1956, her identical twin sister Pauline Esther Phillips, writing as Abigail Van Buren, began her own "Dear Abby" column; in 1987 her daughter Jeanne Phillips began co-writing it and in 2000 replaced her mother entirely. John Prine lampooned the genre in his song "Dear Abby" on his 1973 album "Sweet Revenge":
ReplyDeleteDear Abby, Dear Abby,
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter,
Won't you give me a call
Signed - Bewildered
Bewildered, Bewildered,
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed - Unhappy
Unhappy, Unhappy,
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me
It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed - Noise-maker
Noise-maker, Noise-maker,
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married
Just Married, Just Married,
You have no complaint
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Signed, Dear Abby